Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
