have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize