I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
