Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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