Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Randomize
