who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
