Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
