If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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