Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
