If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize