so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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