I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
