Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
