'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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