Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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