I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.