D3 body, D1 cock
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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