The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
wow bdsm is so cute
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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