Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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