dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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