we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
