We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Mom said you looked used
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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