all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
