cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
