My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
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Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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