Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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