I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
