Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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