How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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