We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize