Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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