I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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