do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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