Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
