I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
