But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
