I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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