Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
