Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
