a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
