Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
