Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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