I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
now i know why i became what i already was.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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