But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
