Texts From Last Night

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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside

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  (864): just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside http://tfl.nu/pna6
  Replies (82) Good night (8186) Bad night (710)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed

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  (541): dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed http://tfl.nu/93gi
  Replies (46) Good night (2311) Bad night (11250)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt

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  (708): I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt http://tfl.nu/chxg
  Replies (33) Good night (1288) Bad night (3358)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems

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  (419): Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems http://tfl.nu/onz0
  Replies (3) Good night (1324) Bad night (2901)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.

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  (905): Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should. http://tfl.nu/b27t
  Replies (45) Good night (9051) Bad night (2649)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND

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  (732): 1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND http://tfl.nu/gn6m
  Replies (11) Good night (4029) Bad night (933)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time

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  (218): I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time http://tfl.nu/ndy7
  Replies (7) Good night (2786) Bad night (1028)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....

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  (613): I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there.... http://tfl.nu/g27d
  Replies (4) Good night (1788) Bad night (2623)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.

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  (425): I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid. http://tfl.nu/1sxi
  Replies (13) Good night (3609) Bad night (734)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.

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  (717): Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts. http://tfl.nu/zklc
  Replies (6) Good night (1326) Bad night (718)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.

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  (417): What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now. http://tfl.nu/j4tm
  Replies (9) Good night (663) Bad night (1315)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2

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  (206): I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2 http://tfl.nu/1blx
  Replies (9) Good night (1285) Bad night (534)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom

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  (240): No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom http://tfl.nu/1eer
  Replies (3) Good night (1082) Bad night (447)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.

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  (614): Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome. http://tfl.nu/lohz
  Replies (5) Good night (1377) Bad night (290)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.

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  (269): I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic. http://tfl.nu/l4d9
  Replies (2) Good night (322) Bad night (815)

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