oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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