how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.