I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
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Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
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The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.