Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I think i got beer on your cat.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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