Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
there was a trapeze. enough said
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
