Texts From Last Night

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  (775): View more from Nevada

  What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!

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  (775): What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS? (1-775): A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass! http://tfl.nu/lvgp
  Replies (16) Good night (1822) Bad night (2631)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol

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  (330): So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol http://tfl.nu/6yav
  Replies (79) Good night (4803) Bad night (1902)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  so my dad walked in on us having sex

  (1-256): View more from Alabama

  lulz really? why?

  (256): View more from Alabama

  lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time

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  (256): so my dad walked in on us having sex (1-256): lulz really? why? (256): lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time http://tfl.nu/805g
  Replies (75) Good night (1710) Bad night (11331)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."

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  (504): And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone." http://tfl.nu/d5h9
  Replies (15) Good night (2821) Bad night (1224)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"

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  (813): just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl" http://tfl.nu/n699
  Replies (7) Good night (3436) Bad night (1035)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.

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  (404): It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again. http://tfl.nu/gqov
  Replies (8) Good night (2093) Bad night (1043)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.

  (314): View more from Missouri

  That was the greatest thing i have ever read.

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  (636): He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping. (314): That was the greatest thing i have ever read. http://tfl.nu/0exi
  Replies (34) Good night (7242) Bad night (2125)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny

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  (515): you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny http://tfl.nu/4raj
  Replies (4) Good night (2274) Bad night (768)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.

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  (613): He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time. http://tfl.nu/b5xq
  Replies (5) Good night (1258) Bad night (546)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.

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  (248): Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it. http://tfl.nu/f0ca
  Replies (1) Good night (1027) Bad night (531)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass

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  (615): Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic. (615): And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass http://tfl.nu/370d
  Replies (0) Good night (786) Bad night (429)
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  (661): View more from California

  If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.

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  (661): If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you. http://tfl.nu/1zgh
  Replies (4) Good night (675) Bad night (403)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?

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  (412): What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar? http://tfl.nu/zns5
  Replies (2) Good night (475) Bad night (320)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket

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  (519): Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket http://tfl.nu/4d4u
  Replies (1) Good night (279) Bad night (337)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive

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  (208): He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive http://tfl.nu/2kfh
  Replies (1) Good night (368) Bad night (138)

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