Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
