I hate your face
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
