We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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