Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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