actually, I'm a sock model
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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