i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
