He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
