God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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