i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
this is an emotional support booty call
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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