yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
