Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
