This girl is more easily done than said...
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
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I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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