So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize