I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
