Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize