remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
