I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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