hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize