after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
