There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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