I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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