In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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