I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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