I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
