She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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