I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
